A chola she definitely is NOT...She still cute though.
The local blogger/vlogger/Tweeter/internet personality world rocked with an earthquake the past few days as the formerly unspecified Ask A Chola's identity was revealed.
Not only was she not a chola (fairly obvious though), but she was someone who wasn't even Latina - she is revealed to be a Greek American named Chloe Michalopolous. and not "Soledad from East Los" as previously puported. And the stinger? She ain't even from the Eastside. She ain't even from the fake Eastside! She's from Orange County!
Get the rope.
Of course, there are actual cholas from the O.C. (which does not stand for "Original Chola"), and though she hardly resembled any of the heavily-makeup'd, gravity-defying oversprayed hair-bang chicks the Militant remembered from his Jr. High and High School days, he probably chalked her up as a pocha who similarly went to school or lived in close proximity to cholas. But nawwww!
The Militant feels a little disillusioned right now. He feels like burning all his Ask A Chola merchandise. Okay, he has none, but maybe he'll delete her site from his web browser's bookmark list. Admittedly, and as you can see from the Militant's lovely photo, Ask A Chola was a quasi-semi-part inspiration for the Militant Angeleno, and now he feels like a 10-year-old who was informed that there is no Santa Claus.
The Militant actually spotted Ask A Chola (or is that Ask A Chloe?) this past August in Chinatown hanging out in the Chinatown central square for the Chinatown Summer Nights program. She was sitting on a bench, wearing a retro-style yellow dress, and she definitely fit the description. Besides, she just tweeted she was there, and she was typing away on her smart phone.
The Militant was soooo tempted to snap a pic of her and reveal her to the world, but Blogger's Honor prevailed (he would get pissed if one of his peers ratted him out!) so the Militant just let it go. Of course, who would have known she was a phony? The transplants love to say "L.A. people are all phony" - Of course, this particular phony is from The O.C.!
Now that the damage has been done, the Militant wants to let you, a person who may or may not be a regular reader of this here blog, know that the Militant Angeleno is not a phony. He is who he says he is: A native Los Angeleno who has long been pissed off about people's general ignorance about Los Angeles, and efforts by transplants and the East Coast media hegemony to perpetrate that ignorance. The Militant never made any claims about his ethnic heritage, other than that his parents immigrated from an unspecified Third World country. All of the above was, is and will always be TRUE. The Militant is The Real Deal. Believe it!
And if you don't here's a scan of part of the Militant's actual birth certificate (click to enlarge):
Okay, any and all identifying information has been pixelated out...but the pertinent information is there: 1) It is a document from the State of California; 2) The Militant was born in Los Angeles County; 3) The Militant was born in the City of Los Angeles and 4) He was born inside the city limits. Not merely a So Cal native but a Los Angeles native! Buhleedat!
The Militant should take this opportunity to reach out to all the fellow disillusioned Ask A Chola fans out there: Here's a masked person who walks the walk, talks the talk and even bikes the bike. Sure he won't talk about UFOs that much, but you'll learn craploads about this City, researched and written from the perspective of a real Angeleno who grew up on its real streets. Besides, she hasn't updated her blog since February 2009! (And you though thought the Militant is slacking!) If you're looking for your new masked hero, The Militant Is It!
Despite the Militant's little prank earlier this Spring, the Militant remains anonymous. Sure, some think they know who he is. But the Militant can never confirm or deny such hypotheses. Even if he is revealed, he may no longer be anonymous and unspecified, but he will still very much be...a Militant Angeleno.