OHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE!!!

Well, well, well. The Militant heard today that the great almighty Midwestern colonial slavemaster of the Los Angeles Times, a.k.a., the Tribune Company, is writing a new chapter in its corporate history: Chapter 11!

The big Trib, which owns, among other properties, the Times, KTLA Channel 5, amd perennial losers the Chicago Cubs, about $12 million in debt.

Tribune is expected to zell-off the Cubbies sometime next year, and good for them. Perhaps the MLB's sultans of suck will reduce their suckage factor somewhat by eliminating the suckitude from their ownership end (As far as on the field, well, they're on their own).

Tribune also needs to zell-off the Los Angeles Times, and basically any media entity west of the Mississippi for that matter. And what's this about Tribune buying the Orange County Register and the San Diego Union-Tribune (WTF? A continuous zone of journalistic suckitude from Pt. Mugu to the Mexican Border?)

The Militant knows Sam Zell himself isn't reading this, since he doesn't get the whole blog thing to begin with, but what the hey:

Sam Zell: Dude...Duuuuude. Duuuuuuude. Please oh please oh please oh PLEASE emancip, er, sell the Los Angeles Times. You don't need it. It's not working. Really. And in case you don't know, us Southern Californians are all...umm, illiterate! Yeah, that's the ticket! So why own a newspaper that no one can read? Really. So zell off the Times. To Mr. Geffen. Heck, zell it to a goldfish. The Militant would gladly buy it, though he doesn't quite have the militant funds to afford such a venture. But if he did, he'd show up at your door with the cash.

And as for buying up papers in OC and SD? STOP. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. You don't keep buying crap when you're in debt. Isn't that the reason why there's a mortgage crisis going on right now? Please, zell off the Times, and don't buy the other So Cal papers either.

Again, zell off the Los Angeles Times.

Do it, please.

PLEEEEEAAAAASE!!!