The Militant's Little Car Accident

Saturday night turned out to be an unusual night for the Militant. After receiving a call from an operative who wanted to go hang out and check out a DJ at a venue in a nearby suburban city, the Militant offered to drive over to the operative's Hollywood pad, pick him up and carpool over.

As most Hollywood residents know, street parking is tight and the Militant had no choice but to sit on a curb, phoning the operative to alert him he was waiting outside.

Just then, a cargo van in front of him (most likely used to transport equipment for his indie band) started to back up and before the Militant can engage in reverse...

...BANG!

The Militant instantly got out right away to find a tennis ball-sized gash in the front end of his car (pictured above, show in black and white in order to conceal the actual color of the Militant's auto). Turns out the van's rear trailer hitch punctured through the front of the Militant's car.

A young man soon came out of the van, equally alarmed.

Call it karma, call it irony, call it an irresistible reason to blog, but...the driver of the other car was...

...a hipster.

"Sorry, man, I didn't see you," he said, as he flicked back his shaggy, dyed black hair.

The hipster dude was actually rather considerate and instantly volunteered to give the Militant his insurance and contact information, sans any sort of 'tude. The Militant was too busy laughing inside about the situation to actually get pissed at him.

A pair of women who rode in the van with him also came out and commenced snapping the picture of the damage with their digital cameras. One of them said, "You know, this happens a lot out here."

"Yes," the Militant thought. "Out here. This only happens out here. Because where you're from, you're more liable to get hit by a cow."

But hey, it could have been worse, no one got hurt, no one sped off or denied responsibility, and the damage is easily repairable. It's all up to the insurance companies to deal with.

What did suck was, the operative never called back. After seeing several cars zip by and wanting to avoid another mishap, the Militant left a final message to the operative telling him that he was headed back to the compound, and to call him back. Halfway back to the compound, the Militant got a text message from the flaky operative, saying that it was getting late (it was only 11:30...) and that he opted to stay home.

Some people. All that trouble for nothing. You can safely assume that the hipster driver guy was not the main object of the Militant's disdain that night.

May Or May Not - A Month Of Militancy, Part 3: Drive Like The Militant!

Throughout the Militant Angeleno's 11-month blog journey, he's put an extremely disproportionate amount of subject matter on riding his bicycle, leading many, especially those in the bike community, to assume he's another "bike blogger." Well, kinda sorta. Again, the Militant reiterates that he is not necessarily pro-bike or anti-car, he uses and celebrates all modes of transport (though he's yet to take to horseback, maybe the LA Cowboy can led some pointers). So this time around, the Militant will share with you his driving tips and techniques.

1. Drive Less - Well duh. It's the latest craze sweeping the nation! So what's the point of driving less when you own a car? Simple economics. You'll spend less money on gas and maintenance (due to less wear-and tear on your car both inside and out). Driving less also decreases the likelihood of you getting in an accident which in turn potentially lowers your insurance costs. And when you do drive, and hopefully not when everyone else is, your driving experience will be less chore and more of the recreational pleasure it was originally meant to be. Be like the Militant and take advantage of every mode of transportation available to you: walking, bicycle, bus, train, razor scooter, rollerblade, skateboard, Segway, pogo stick, whatever. Map out where you live and set a radius on how far you should walk, or take transit or use other modes. Beyond that distance, only then would driving would be allowed. Since the Militant adopted this system, he now only fills his tank every 2-3 weeks.

2. Drive Only During Longer Trips - The Militant has a 10-mile rule: The car, as much as possible, is to be used only for trips exceeding 10 miles. The internal combustion engine is most effective when going for long, uninterrupted trips, and not when you constantly make cold stops and starts, which is why you use up way more gas when making 285 miles of trips around town than heading straight to Vegas (but not on a Friday evening when the 15 is just as congested).

3. Cheap Gas? It May Not Or May Be Worth It - That $2.49 gas out in La Freaking Habra that you heard about on KFWB sounds awfully tempting. But is the drive from Hollywood really worth it? You're gonna waste more gas getting there than recouping your savings. The Militant advises you to fuel up at the cheapest gas station within a 2-mile radius of your home or workplace, as you're really not gonna save anything in the end.

4. Zen and The Art of Road Rage - When someone waves to you on the road with 1/5th of their hand, IGNORE THEM! They do that to illicit a reaction from you, usually to get you just as pissed off as they are. So even if you find yourself getting flipped off, avoid eye contact, and even pretend you never saw them. Seriously. Because you don't know them, they don't know you, and it's probably ideal to keep the relationship that way. Because if this escalates into a honking match to a shouting match to "I'm pulling over and getting out of my car and kicking your ass" match or even an accident, you really don't wanna have to see that person again, especially in a courtroom setting. Ignoring someone is worse than openly expressing your dislike towards them -- you are refusing to acknowledge their existence, hence not being worth your while, which makes all their effort into displeasing you a total waste of time. Ignoring people WORKS. After all, the mainstream media does it to non-black minorities all the time.

5. DE-FENSE! (clap, clap) DE-FENSE! (clap, clap) DE-FENSE! (clap, clap) - ALWAYS DRIVE DEFENSIVELY and check your ego at the door. If some cartard insists on getting the right-of-way even though they aren't legally entitled to it. Stop or get out of their way. Again, you really don't want to get to know this person (see above). Treat those kinds of drivers like inanimate objects. If a boulder rolls down on the road in front of you, are you gonna honk your horn at it, roll down your window and drop verbal f-bombs at it and drive towards it, hoping it'll keep rolling out of your way? It's a f-ing boulder. You notice it, react and swerve out of its way, and continue on with your day. Don't let any fools on the road bring down your day.

6. There Is A Season, Turn, Turn, Turn Signals - Once you've decided you want to change lanes, use them. You'll get better value out of your car. After all, your car was built with the assumption that you'd actually use it.

7. Combine Those Trips - If you live in Echo Park, and suddenly decided you want to go to Fry's in Burbank on a Friday night to pick up that limit-one-per-customer widescreen 24" Samsung LED monitor you've been pining for, and then have to visit your sister in North Hollywood on Saturday, um...why not move one activity over and do both on the same trip? You'll save on time, money, hassle and gas. Zipping back and forth around town not only wastes the aforementioned time and gas, but then you're just another fool taking up needless space on the road.

8. Very Be Carpool - It's okay to drive if every seat in your car is full, because you're using your vehicle to its designed capacity. Driving solo in a minivan or a gas-guzzling SUV? Stupid. If you live in Koreatown and your friend in Irvine is having a party at the Dave & Busters out there, and your other friends in North Hollywood, Silver_Lake and Boyle Heights are going to the same party...then you should all get together, meet at one of your houses and roll down together. Again, saves money, saves gas and takes cars off the damn road.

9. American Idle - The Militant did get to carpool with a nearby operative recently on a day trip to San Diego. The Militant suggested the fastest way to SD, as he always does, was to get on the 60 East and take the 15 south - the destination was near the 15 and the 8 in SD anyway. He decided not to, citing that it's gonna use up more gas to get out there, so the operative opted to take the 5 straight down. On a Saturday. So there we were, hitting Los Angeles traffic, hitting the Commerce-to-Cerritos traffic, hitting south Orange County traffic, hitting North SD County traffic. The trip took 3 1/2 hours (Los Angeles to SD via the 15 takes 2 - 2 1/2 hours guaranteed). Moral to the story, you're gonna waste more gas idling in traffic than taking a longer, but faster route.

10. Know Thy Shortcuts! - The Militant's system of local shortcuts, like his identity, is a closely-guarded secret, so he ain't gonna give them away. But if you read this entry, you could easily find The Road Less Traveled for your commutes and find your away around town in a more efficient manner. Most fools stuck on the freeways don't really know this City very well, and only stick to the route familiar to them. So any Militant driver knows that the best way between Downtown and the Valley during Friday evening rush hour is to take the [classified information] to the [classified information], make a left at [classified information] and take [classified information] all the way into Burbank.

Flippin' Off The Freeway

Okay, cue the timpani drums and orchestral horns, and imagine that clickety typewriter sound effect as each letter appears...

Dateline: Los Angeles, CA, Thursday, May 1, 2008, 7:29 p.m.
Destination: Van Nuys/Lake Balboa area
Purpose: Classified extramilitant activity with operatives

The Militant set off in his car to the Valley as his operatives suggested he arrive at 8 p.m. Being it past 7 o'clock already, heading to the Valley should be a bree...uh-oh.

Upon entering the northbound 101 Freeway, traffic was crawling at snails-pace levels. A sea of read taillights could be seen as far down as the eye can see.

Not good. So the Militant headed into Shortcut Mode and traversed the sidestreets, hopefully entering the freeway onramp by Franklin & Gower.

No such luck. Upon reaching Franklin, there was another sea of taillights greeting him. Same for Hollywood and Sunset boulevards, and even Fountain Avenue (so much for cutting through Laurel Canyon...).

He spotted a fair number of bicycle commuters during his futile shortcut hunt. Wonder if they're trying to tell him something.

The Militant turned on KFWB and lo and behold, there was a fatal crash and an overturned truck on the northbound 101 at Barham - right smack dab in the middle of the Cahuenga Pass - the oh-so delicate artery of the circulatory system known as the Los Angeles freeway. Southbound traffic was free-flowing. The other way, not so much. Traffic backed up as far as Alvarado. This artery was blocked, and the City's having a heart attack right now.

Canceling the activity with operatives was an option, but not a wise one, as it was a rare opportunity that all parties involved were available this night, and rescheduling would throw another wrench into the Militant's plans.

The time now: 8:01 p.m..

Yes, the Militant spent half an hour in his car, navigating a 2-mile radius area fraught with impassable westbound congestion. Even if the Cahuenga Pass accident got cleared up at this point, this is gonna take a while.

Evasive measures were called for. The Militant headed straight back to the compound, parked the car and grabbed his backpack, iPod, jacket, gloves, helmet and bicycle. That all the Militant can stands, and he can't stands no more!

He pedaled straight to the nearest (M) station, got his daypass, and got on the platform.

Within seconds, he heard the rumble and hollow whoosh of a northbound Red Line train.

"Woo-Hoo!" the Militant exclaimed.

As it passed, the lights were off and the headsign read: OUT OF SERVICE.

"D'oh!" the Militant added.

But within a few minutes, at 8:35 p.m., an actual train arrived, full of passengers and with even three other bicycles in his subway car.

It was an odd ride, as the train screeched to a sudden halt in the Cahuenga Pass tunnel (don't tell the Militant that the accident up on the surface had an effect...), then stopped and started up again like an Elvis tune. The same thing also happened between Universal City and North Hollywood.

Upon reaching North Hollywood, he rushed to the elevators to the surface and joined the crowd of people waiting across Lankershim for the next Orange Line bus. But there were two other bicyclists already waiting on the platform...something's gotta give, and it was 8:53 p.m. already.

In a serendipitous turn of events, the arriving bus' front bike rack was able to hold all three of us cyclists. Awesome.

The Militant arrived at the Woodley station at 9:15. In four minutes he rolled his bike into the front yard of his operatives' house.

The entire 16-mile rail-bus-bike trip took 44 minutes.

30 minutes were wasted earlier in navigating the side streets in snarled traffic via car, a waste-of-time trek totaling almost 10 miles.

You tell the Militant which was the more efficient trip.

Crash Scabs: Who Cleans It Up?

You've seen it before. Car moves, car moves a little too fast, car brakes, yet not quite in time - car hits another car. Skid, crash, bang.

It might have even happened to you.

The two parties emerge from their vehicles (hopefully), words (often obscenities) and license/insurance (hopefully) info is exchanged, law enforcement arrives, a report is made.

Thus is the routine when there is a car accident.

Under more serious circumstances, the paramedics and a fire truck arrive. But let's just assume that the only physical damage was some rattled nerves in this case.

But the car? Eh, not so much. A fender, a bumper, a headlight, maybe even a license plate and fragments of all of the above litter the street. Chunks of plastic, metal and glass litter the street.

AND WHO CLEANS IT UP?

Yes, the Militant is ranting now, which is a good sign that he's gonna be more consistent in making his blog posts from here on. But aside from that, who's responsible for cleaning it up?
The accident parties certainly don't care, or might have more serious concerns. The fire/paramedics don't unless there's some sort of conflagration. Law enforcement? Maybe they'll take an entire bumper off from the road, but the little bits and pieces...that's probably up for the wind and rain to take care of.

No, the Militant isn't just bitching because he rides a bike a lot and runs over these things frequently, hoping to avoid a flat, but the Militant, also a motorist as well, doesn't like to see little bits and pieces of metal sticking out of the tires of his car, which just means another trip to the local neighborhood tire repair shop.

So folks, we gotta work out some sort of method or system for cleaning up auto crash scabs from our roads. They're unsightly and represent blight. They're bad for cars, motorcycles, bicycles and pedestrians alike, representing a public safety hazard. The Militant recommends either the police or city vehicles track each accident upon their reports and have a cleanup crew sweep up , pick up or even vacuum the debris up with some powerful machine that sucks tremendously (...um er, why does that not sound right?) . This crap is everywhere.

MA Interactive: Sick And Tire of All This!

Either the rubber tire gods were not smiling on the Militant this week, or he was the target of yet another attack by his silent but very powerful enemies. Just five days after he struck a flat on his bicycle, the Militant Angeleno experienced a flat on his automobile. The culprit was a strategically-placed nail in the rear right tire discovered Sunday morning after inspecting the sagging (yet not fully flat) tire at a parking lot in Mid-City Los Angeles (the picture above is only a stock photo dramatization and not of the Militant's actual car; the Militant is fully aware his enemies would be quick to identify his car by the wheel style, brand or even tread pattern).

The Militant asked some of the locals for a convenient (and affordable) place where one can get a flat patched and was directed to a tire sales/repair place nearby on Washington Blvd. and Redondo Ave. But alas, the place was closed for the day. The Militant had to slowly drive down Redondo, then Venice, then up Western to near Pico where he finally found a "Llantas 7 Dias" store with bright yellow and red signage in English, Spanish and Korean. For $10 and some 20 minutes later the Militant was rolling on the streets of the city again.

The Militant's go-to choice for getting a flat car tire patched is Mexicali Tire on 5150 Santa Monica Blvd., at Ardmore. For just $8 and 15 minutes, you're rollin' again. Yet another reason the Militant eschews the suburbs or even the more snobbish parts of town - he is never far from quick, affordable tire repair.

Where are some of the best places in town to get a flat fixed? Post them as a comment. They could come in handy next time you find yourself limping in the vicinity. The only rule is that the repair cost must be less than $10 per tire.