Economic Stimulus, Dodger Style

As we all know, on Tuesday President Obama signed into law the $787 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, which was designed to stimulate the national economy and create jobs.

Meanwhile, the yet-to-be-blossoming rosebud of the baseball season has surfaced, and Spring Training has begun in Glendale (no, not that one) Arizona. Dodger players, old, new and old-but-new-again alike, have reported to camp. But...there's...something...missing...

Yes, the M-word. The 2008 season has ended, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, MLK Day, Chinese New Year, Valentine's Day and even Presidents' Day have all come and gone...and still yet the Dodgers have not signed Manny Ramirez.

Apparently offers have been made, then turned down, then made again, then turned down again. And while other teams are rarin' to go, the Dodgers still lack some key pieces to their 2009 puzzle.

The Militant is not one to barge in on business deals but...

DUDE...FRANK...NED...SIGN HIM ALREADY!!!!!!!

Yes, the Dodgers have been burned with big multi-year deals, but look, think of this as economic stimulus. Seriously. You get Manny on the team, people buy tickets. People buy the Manny shirts. People buy the cheesy Manny dreadlock wigs. And most of all, people buy parking at the stadium (Well, okay, maybe not the Militant, lol).

It's been estimated that in the not-even half-of-a-season that Ramirez played in Blue last year, his presence in the squad raked in $24 million in merchandise alone. That's half a season, folks. This man pays for himself!

Seriously, Los Angeles is not immune from the economic slump as we all know. But Manny Ramirez creates an entire economy all be himself. Call it Mannynomics. Manny Being Money. Whatever. Think of all those ticket sales. Think of all those season ticket sales. Think of all the people they'll be hiring at sports bars when folks crowd in there this October to watch Manny in the '09 playoffs. Think of all the families being fed after making Manny wigs all day (okay, granted, it's probably children in China making that stuff, but still...). Sixy, eighty, a hundred million, whatever....it's still chump change compared to a $787 billion stimulus package...yet the Dodger organization can provide economic stimulus to all of Los Angeles.

Please...for the economy's sake...sign Manny now.

How Wide The Sidewalk?

The Militant may or may not have found himself walking in the rain somewhere in the Valley, in a somewhat familiar strip of Sepulveda Blvd. in North Hills. Shielded from the elements by his um-ba-rella (ella...ella...ella...eh...eh...eh...) he walked northbound along Sepulveda, walking ever...uh. Walking continuously...uh. Um.

Wait a minute.

Turns out the sidewalk was so narrow at some points that the Militant was literally blocked, and had to tip his umbrella at an angle just to pass, thereby allowing several drops of rain to dilute his camouflage garb, thus defeating the purpose of carrying any instrument designed to protect oneself from the effects of precipitation.

Could you imagine of the Militant experienced any cross-traffic with another umbrella'd pedestrian walking the other direction? Who would have the right of way? Would he and the other pedestrian be stalled there waiting for the other to pass? Oh the horror! But of course, this being the Valley, pedestrians were a woefully rare sight anyway, regardless of weather conditions.

So this got the Militant thinking, in terms of urban design standards -- Sidewalks should be wide enough for a person carrying a large umbrella to pass through unencumbered. A reasonable request, no?

Of course, so far, this has been a Valley problem, and the Miltant's short-term solution was to get out of there.

Is This Any Way To Go?

The Militant usually doesn't talk about high-speed (or even the lower velocity ones, as what happened) car chases that give law-breaking, pedal-flooring attention whores a great deal of their 15 minutes of fame.

But on Monday night, as a Bentley covered much of a Thomas Guide's worth of roadage, 27 year old Pakistani immigrant Mustafa Mustafa, after doing his best Chris Brown impression (and we're not talking about singing here...) and leading Jon and Ponch on a 5-hour chase, ended his life with a self-inflicted gunshot wound on Lankershim Boulevard, just yards north of the Los Angeles River. Apparently, he lamented the loss of his business.

This is not the first time someone decided to react radically to their financial situation. Just days ago, a Wilmington man offed his entire family and himself after losing his job at a Kaiser Permanente Medical Center.

As the economic situation grows more weary, expect more of these headlines.

The Militant, though, can't help but shake his head in disbelief.

Is that the last thing you want to do on this Earth? Drive your car around for five hours? Why not live it up a bit? Rent a limo, no a helicopter. Buy some expensive booze. Pick up some high-priced call girls. After all, you won't have to worry about debt for that much longer.

The Militant kids here...No really folks, it's just money. WTF people! The Militant has fallen on financial hard times before...and some of that was the greatest moments of his life. If a squatter in Calcutta can get by for years, how then can't a family living in the convenient trappings of America? You got hot running water and flushing toilets. And now you wanna end your life? Really now. Life is all about ebb and flow. Just as things can turn towards the worst in a short amount of time, they can likewise get better. Ya just got to ride the wave, duuuude.

Maybe it's because of his extensive Mililtant survivalist training, but The Militant doesn't really mind this recession thing, really. If anything, maybe it'll give people new perspective. There's nothing wrong with being rich, but excess is mothafuggin excess. It's nice to have a lot of money, but once you become so rich that you're not able to control it yourself, and require hiring others to handle it for you...then it's not so fun anymore.

The Militant also has no outstanding debt (outside of a car payment, which is more paid off than not), so even if this financial situation gets worse, he just might become rich by default.

Maybe the Militant will start a new career as a financial advisor...okay maybe not. But the moral to this story is perspective. No matter what your situation is, there's always someone out there who's better off than you...and tons more people who's much, much worse off than you. Hang in there, folks.

Let's All Go To Grammy's House!

You may or may not be watching the 51st Grammy Awards show tonight, broadcast in wonderful 3-hour tape delay from the Staples Center in Downtown Los Angeles, but since we're talking about those awards with the little old school music playback device on it, the Militant might wanna take you to the new home of the Grammys -- LA Live.

As the Militant mentioned back in November, the Grammy Museum opened up in early December. The Militant got to check it out last week, accompanied by Militant Operative Stingray, himself a musician, and another trusted operative who is a part-time DJ. The museum, as was described, focuses on the recording process and highlights the history of the music awards.

The museum space is actually rather small, encompassing four levels of LA Live, but in actuality two complete floors, half of one and a tiny portion of another.

Your self-guided journey begins with a ticket purchase from the street level box office on Figueroa, where you're led up to the 4th floor via elevator and enter the main exhibit room after walking down a visual-filled corridor made up of images from recent Grammy awards (You're not allowed to bring cameras or take pictures, BTW, but of course, as you can see, the Militant is not exactly known to follow the rules...).

The first feature you'll likely see is the music genres exhibit, a long interactive table made up of computer-projected images of music genre names. By touching on the projected images on the table, you are able to see a short description and history of music genres - from ska to rapcore to drum n bass to heavy metal to new jack swing to doo wop - accompanied by a few musical examples. The descriptions are more or less accurate, though the description of "electronica" wasn't consistent with the Militant's understanding of the genre, and the musical selections for "heavy metal" were rather unexpected examples. Still, the Militant and his musically-inclined operatives spent more than an hour perusing all the genres (the Militant did notice some bugs in the touch-table interface though; touching "dancehall" pulled up the "bossa nova" genre instead...go figure...).

Not to far away was a touch-screen display of "Music Epicenters" across the United States, depicting a map with not just the expected music capitals like Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, New Orleans, Chicago and Austin, but many points in between as well. Of course the Militant headed towards the Los Angeles description, narrated by Los Angeles native musician Dave Alvin from The Blasters), which went from the beginnings of the local record industry and the opening of the Hollywood Bowl in the 1920s to the heavy metal and gangsta rap scenes in the '80s and '90s.

And for some reason, "Marina Del Rey"is listed as a "music epicenter." Why? You'll have to come to the museum to find out...

There are other similar interactive displays (usually with the aid of headphones) that show how music genres and trends affected contemporary culture - from Woodstock to disco to hip-hop.

The rest of the 4th floor contains a (surprise!) interactive display which has every single Grammy award archived (one of the Militant's operatives complained about the user-unfriendly navigation of that one), and various Hard Rock Cafe-type static displays of musical instruments, mementos and wardrobe from music legends through the years.

Going down to the 3rd floor (your self-guided Grammy journey takes you down each level), you're greeted to a mini-theatre environment depicting mini-documentaries of how various pop songs are written and recorded, in this case, Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take The Wheel."

The rest of the 3rd floor is really fun - there are super-interactive "studio" booths that let you record, sing, rap, mix, remix or master music. No, you can't take your recordings home, but it's still fun nonetheless. Another theatre setting shows highlights from past Grammy performances. Because they can do that. There's also a static display of Grammy awards from the past, which the Militant gives massive props for not only mentioning the 1990 Milli Vanilli debacle, but showing a picture of the infamous 1998 Bob Dylan "Soy Bomb" performance. YES!

Going down to the second floor, there isn't much in terms of the good ol' interactive exhibits, but the half-floor does have speace for temporary special exhibits (currently, how wars and societal events have affected music -- from the Revolutionary War to today's Iraq War). There's also another theatre - a larger one, currently showing how Beyonce got to perform with Tina Turner in the 2008 awards. Then there's the Grammy Museum Gift Shop, which has the greatest let-down of all: Let's see - there's Grammy t-shirts, Grammy mugs, Grammy CDs and DVDs, Grammy keychains...anything missing? Anything you'd expect to buy from a Grammy Museum Gift Shop? How about MINIATURE SOUVENIR GRAMMY AWARDS? Real smart move there, Grammy Museum folks...

But disregarding that, it's still a pretty kickin' place, especially if you love music. The Militant and his operatives planned on spending two hours there -- they ended up spending nearly five. Yeah. Adult tickets cost $14.95, but if you're really into music, it's well worth it.

Best yet, it's nice to see a one-of-a-kind museum like this here in Los Angeles, and in Downtown no less (the entire LA Live grounds have a Walk-Of-Fame-like "Grammy Walk" emblem in the ground commemorating each award year) - especially considering the awards have also taken place in New York City and in Nashville, and the actual National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences is headquartered in Santa Monica.

Talkin’ ‘Bout My Gentrification: Danny Hoch’s ‘Taking Over’ at the Kirk Douglas Theatre

Now the Militant, in his infinite Militant Angeleno-ness, usually does not lavish any sort of praise on a native New Yorker (Vin Scully and the Dodgers exempted, of course).

But when he was given a chance to see a preview performance of Danny Hoch’s one-man play Taking Over at Culver City’s Kirk Douglas Theatre, the Militant was simply floored.

For those not familiar with Hoch, he’s a Gen-X-age writer, director and actor from Bwooklyn (his accent is expectedly blatant) known for his “Hip-Hop Theatre” productions, like 1998’s Jails, Hospitals & Hip Hop, where he plays a myriad of diverse characters endemic to his native borough environs, while exploring issues of race, class and societal issues in the story.

His current play, which explores gentrification in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg (think of the east coast equivalent to Echo Park/Silver Lake) through the portrayal of several characters: A Puerto Rican graduate student, a 60-something African American woman, a middle-aged Jewish landlord, a Dominican immigrant taxi dispatcher and a 20-something white hipster chick, among others.

Although the Militant has been to NYC a handful of times before, he’s never set foot in that particular part of Brooklyn, yet he totally identified with the subject matter.

For others, not so much. One performance earlier in the week had someone, visually offended, walking out of the theatre. In one scene the actor plays himself in an epilogic scene where he reads aloud some of his “hate mail.” Hey, art, after all, is supposed to elicit a reaction.

Though the Williamsburg situation seems more hyperbolic and extreme (million-dollar condos have not come to Echo Park – yet), and one of the characters’ indignant provincialism, though obviously well-intentioned, seemed a bit off-putting to even this Militant (or maybe us Californians are just more accommodating creatures, dunno…), in spirit, it was not a totally alien place for the Militant. Issues of how the locals enjoy things like safer streets and the availability of soy milk, only to discover that those trappings were not designed to be meant for them, or how one character is totally ignored by the hipster newcomers, are all too familiar themes for this Militant.

All is not heavy and brooding at all – a great deal of the play is presented as clever humor and well-executed comedic monologues (the reading of a coffeehouse’s weekly Calendar of Events is true comedy gold in its accurate portrayal of hipster entertainment). But some may find out that they are the ones being talked about here.

The Militant had a brief chat with Hoch after the show - one hardcore native New Yorker and one hardcore native Angeleno – and though they may not agree on sports or food, they both came to the accord that hipsters are a universal problem, and that it’s not just enclaves in New York and Los Angeles getting gentrified. One scene even confirmed the Militant’s belief that rampant gentrification can leave even the hipsters as victims of neighborhood change, as they get replaced by more upscale types.

Another aspect the Militant believes is praiseworthy is not just Hoch’s performance, but his endurance. The 90-minute play runs without any intermissions, and the actor has but seconds to transform from one character to the next. His voice was so thrashed after the show that when the Militant had his conversation with him, it was kinda like chatting with a mime.

Anyway, despite its NY origins, this play turns gentrification into a more universal issue. So with that, Danny Hoch’s Taking Over is 100% MILITANT APPROVED!

The show’s official premiere night is tonight, January 23. So run, don’t walk, to the Kirk Douglas Theatre by February 22. YOU. NEED. TO. SEE. THIS. And aside from spreading the word through this here blog and on his Facebook profile, he will also drop some flyers for this play at Intelligentsia Coffee in Silver Lake and at the American Apparel store in Echo Park. Heh heh heh...

Los Obamangeles

Obama banner outside Los Angeles Sentinel office on Crenshaw Blvd.

Obama sign outlined in lights, Conrad Hair Salon on Fountain Avenue, Silver Lake.

Now that President Barack Obama is officially livin' large and in charge, it makes the Militant proud that we have a president who was - at least for two years - an Angeleno. Though the president is more associated with Chicago, Honolulu, or even Jakarta, Los Angeles was one of the places where he once lived (his first exposure living in the continental United States), and it no doubt had an influence on him.

According to a Times article published last year, a high school-aged Obama met a tourist girl on the beaches of Hawaii who lived in Brentwood, and told him exciting stories about about her hometown, so the young Obama headed "out east" to Los Angeles' Occidental College in Eagle Rock for his undergraduate studies. He must have learned something here, since he arrived as "Barry" and left as Barack. So our City deserves some credit for shaping the guy.

Obama joins Richard Nixon (Yorba Linda, Whittier, San Clemente), Gerald Ford (Rancho Mirage), Ronald Reagan (Bel-Air, Santa Barbara, Brentwood) and George H.W. Bush (Ventura) as the only presidents who have lived in Southern California at some point in their lives (Only Reagan and Obama have lived in Los Angeles City proper).

After much Militant research, the Militant has compiled a map showing 15 points of interest around Los Angeles with a significant connection to the president:


View Larger Map

Click on the blue markers for a detailed description. Here are the places, in chronological order:

Occidental College's Haines Hall dormitory, Obama's first home in Los Angeles.
Courtesy of Hijo De E-Ho.

1979-1981: Occidental College, Eagle Rock - Obama's first two years of college were spent here.

1979-1981: Casa Bianca, Eagle Rock - Obama's fave pizzeria.

Feb 20, 2007: Rancho Cienega Park, Crenshaw District - First campaign appearance, 10 days after announcing candidacy.

Feb 20, 2007: Beverly Hilton, Beverly Hills - Celebrity fundraiser.

Oct 20, 2007: Garfield High School, East Los Angeles - Spoke at Town Hall event.

November 2007: The Wiltern, Koreatown - Former site of Shepard Fairey's art studio, where iconic Obama illustration was first designed.

Dec 10, 2007: Gibson Ampitheatre, Universal City - "Generation Obama" concert, also featuring Ne-Yo and the Goo Goo Dolls.

Jan 31, 2008: Los Angeles Trade Tech College, Downtown - Campaign appearance.

Jan 31, 2008: Kodak Theatre, Hollywood - Site of Democratic debate vs. Hillary Clinton.

Jan 2008: Shepard Fairey Studio One, Elysian Park - Fairey's new studio location, site of large Obama illustration.

Feb 1, 2008: East Los Angeles College, East Los Angeles - Site of Obama rally featuring Sen. Ted Kennedy.

Feb 3, 2008: UCLA Pauley Pavilion, Westwood - Site of Obama rally featuring Michelle Obama, Oprah Wonfrey, Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver.

June 23, 2008: Dorothy Chandler Paviliion, Downtown - Site of another celebrity fundraiser.

2008: Conrad Hair Salon, Silver Lake - Site of large "OBAMA" sign in lights.

2008-2009: Crenshaw Boulevard - Where Obama merchandise is sold by street vendors, mostly between Adams and Exposition.

A King For A Day, A Dream For Generations

Today Los Angeles observes Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Like many public figures, he has been immortalized in this City: A 6.5-mile east-west thoroughfare (formerly Santa Barbara Avenue), a vital, yet beleaguered medical center in South Los Angeles, a library (and a green one at that) on the Los Angeles City College campus in East Hollywood, an elementary school, a therapeutic recreation center for people with disabilities and of course, a grand parade in the Crenshaw District (the Militant took you there last year).

The surrounding 'burbs aren't left out, either: The City of Compton (City O' Comp-ton) has a memorial monument, a transit center and an elementary school. Long Beach has a park.

The man himself even preached at a couple local churches just weeks before the early morning April 4 where shots rang out over Memphis skies.

Like the song said, they took his life, but they could not take his pride.

When King gave his iconic "I Have A Dream" speech in August 1963, he made it clear his vision was not necessarily for the people listening but his children and generations after. That very moment, in the extreme opposite end of the country, there was a little 2-year old toddler who was probably more captivated with playing with toy fire trucks at the time.

Tomorrow, that toddler will stand on the steps of the Capitol and recite the oath of office as President of the United States. just goes to show that the fruits of one's labor, of one's passion, won't get to bloom for a while, but in time, it inevitably will. The Militant finds inspiration in that thought -- today the Militant types mere words into a web page. But who knows what will come of that decades from now?

Militant reader BradleyB made this awesome interactive Google Map with the locations the Militant described earlier in this post. Militant props!


View Larger Map


Photo: MLK Mural in Pacoima, circa 1980

Epilogue: Sometimes, You Get Something For Nothing These Days

Just hours after the Militant beyotched about the new price of a newspaper, while riding on the (M)etro-o-ooo, it seems the Angels of the City were smiling down on him and gave him a free copy...on the floor of a light rail car (pictured above).

Considering that the paper was free of footprints, food stains or any other unpleasant blemishes, good enough.

He read the paper on his ride and even shared the Sports section with a fellow passenger who asked about it.

And in the interest of good karma, the golden rule, blind reciprocation, etc., on the Metro ride back to his compound, after reading what he wanted to read, he left it, neatly folded, on the seat of his train, for another passenger to enjoy a 75-cent break of their own.

That's So LAME!

Recently it was announced that the Los Angeles Convention and Visitor's Bureau decided, as a stop-gap measure to combat the effects of the recession with regard to our tourist industry, to employ a frequently-used derogatory phrase, which naturally capitalizes on frequent cliches and generalizations about Los Angeles.

The big money-shot phrase for this $2 million domestic tourism campaign: "THAT'S SO LA!"

The Militant facepalms.

Look, the Militant gets it, you're trying to re-claim the phrase to make it look like a positive one, and obviously the Militant generally supports any campaign meant to improve our image, but for a town whose ad geniuses love to tout its innovation and imagination, the said ad geniuses pick one of the least innovative and imaginative phrases of all.

According to the LACVB, the campaign highlights Walt Disney Concert Hall, Venice Beach, Universal Studios, the Hammer Museum and the Hollywood sign. Haven't most people who visit Los Angeles occasionally been to or seen most of these already? Do not we have neighborhoods in this town that are unlike any other in the country? It's just...argh...

[Okay Militant, calm down, reeeeelax. Think happy thoughts]

Oh well. Guess that's what this here blog is for.

You Get Less For More These Days

The Militant awoke from hiw winter hibernation a little earlier than expected -- he thought from the nice, warm, sunny weather it was April already but was surprised to know it's still only mid-January. So he decided to take a little stroll down an unspecified east-west thoroughfare when he took a peek at a newsstand to find out what's going on in the world and exactly what day it was today.

Then he noticed it.

Los Angeles Times...Daily: 75 cents!

Okay time out, let's let that sink in.

SEVENTY-FIVE FREAKING CENTS?!?!?

The Militant is well aware of some of the recent changes to the paper, the shrinking physical mass (and local coverage) notwithstanding. As mentioned before, the Militant still digs reading a physical paper, as it's a nice way to pass the time riding the (M)etro or sitting on the can (even one of these). And the Militant loves seeing the rear page of the Sports or Business sections to see what's on sale at Fry's this week for the latest high-tech gadgetry to blow his Militant income on. And surely people will mob and claw at each other in a Black Friday-like frenzy over copies of the January 21st edition of the Times...or any newspaper, for that matter.

But...75 cents?

Zell, please!