So The Clippers Have A New Logo Now, Eh?

Did you hear? Today the Los Angeles Clippers officially announced their new logos and branding:

No wait, it's this one:

Okay...

Well, while the team and Teh Ballmer Himself thinks it's all that, The Militant, and perhaps the rest of Los Angeles, and maybe even the sports world as well, thinks it's kind of meh at best. While not hideous, it's...just kind of there.

Full disclosure, in case you don't know: The Militant is a lifelong Lakers fan, but he's not a Clippers hater. He was pulling for them during the NBA Playoffs this year, which have recently been won by some Bay Area team. But this is still a Los Angeles professional sports team, and they have been here for 31 seasons already, so you might as well deal with it.

Look, if you're going to make a logo, it better mean something, or at least stand for something. The Nike Swoosh, the McDonalds' Golden Arches. The NBC Peacock, etc. You'll know it when you see it.

The inter-nested "L-A-C" (or "C-L-A?") kind of L-A-C-Ks something. It's mildly clever, but it doesn't stand for anything. The basketball icon's lines suggest arrows and it looks like the "L-A-C" is being crushed like that trash compactor in the first "Star Wars" film.

The Ballmer has respected enough of the team's history to keep The Clippers in town, and even keep the name, which was a holdover of the previous San Diego-based franchise, a reference to the tall-sailed merchant ships that once sailed into that city's harbor. Clipper ships were popular in the mid-19th century as fast ships that carried freight across oceans with relative speed, the last of the wind-sailing vessels until steam engines took over the maritime transportation industry a few decades later. And FYI, clipper ships once sailed into Los Angeles Harbor back in the day, though Los Angeles was just a minor port city back then. Of course, once a year you can still see clipper ships sail in San Pedro.

But The Ballmer missed out on the biggest opportunity for the team's re-branding: Changing the team's colors. Colors are a big deal in sports fandom. Just ask any blue-blooded Dodger fan, for example. Red, white and blue might work in a patriotic sense but what does it have to do with Los Angeles or clippers?

A perfect example: Once upon a time, a basketball team moved to Los Angeles. Years later, the team's new owner wanted to change the team's logo and branding. Out were the team's blue and white and in were purple (originally called "Forum Blue") and gold, adapted from the owner's other sports team, the Los Angeles Kings (purple being a regal color). The owner was Jack Kent Cooke and the team was, of course, the Los Angeles Lakers. Since then, the Kings dropped their purple and gold and those colors have been synonymous with the Lakers ever since.

So the Clippers could have put more thought and time into this logo/branding thing and come up with a new color scheme and a kick-ass logo. Granted the new one looks a little more bold on uniforms, but stands to be rather dated in a few years. Maybe then they'll come up with something better.

Ballmer also missed out on the opportunity for The Clippers' official team mascot:

Have fun, Clipper fans!

Kings Of The World!

In case you may not know already, the Los Angeles Kings ar...

naw, naw, naw...let's do that again.

In case you may not know already...


THE LOS ANGELES KINGS ARE THE 2012 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!!!!!!1

 Dude, this is like...history!

The Militant can't reveal where he was watching the devastating 6-1 victory over the New Joisey Devils, but later that evening, he wanted to bask in the glory of victory somehow, so he took the (M) Red Line to Downtown and walked down Figueroa.

No, he wasn't there to cause any trouble, and in fact, aside from a few minor incidents, there really was no riot to talk about whatsoever. A damaged newsstand and an overturned illuminated traffic arrow trailer (pictured left) were pretty much the extent of the irresponsible celebrating.

The Militant passed groups of straggler Kings fans, held out his palm and got free high-fives as he walked past them. A few horns honked, and the few that were still out on the streets, whooped and hollered in accord.

Some three hours after the game ended, and the crowds have cleared, the Staples Center, once a roaring beast earlier in the evening, was now darkened save for a few parties going on in the patio level.

The Militant went across Chick Hearn Court and stared at LA Live's characteristic near-seizure-inducing video displays, which bore the words, "CONGRATULATIONS LA KINGS - 2012 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS."

The Militant just stared at those words for a few minutes, as if to have it sink in. As if, to verify for himself this was no dream or he had stepped into a bizarro-reality wormhole somewhere. But...it was real.

As the frequent Staples Center visitor has noticed, there is ia bronze likeness of former Kings player Wayne Gretzky, a man who, though still worthy of his "Great One" nickname, failed to make this night happen 19 years ago, and besides, never actually played inside the Staples Center (to be fair, neither did Magic Johnson, who is similarly immortalized. Gretzky was basically just a draw.

One would wonder which is the next Kings player to be immortalized like that. Jonathan Quick? Dustin Brown?

Of course, this victory was a team effort by all accounts. Still, that image of Gretzky looking across the street has a different meaning now. He was looking towards a future, a (albeit near-seizure-inducing) future brighter than what he was able to see. Because no matter how great you are, eventually there will be someone (or more) that will shine even brighter.

But Gretzky looks happy anyway, and that's all that really matters, right?

A Destiny Fit For A King(s Fan)

By 9 p.m. tonight, the Los Angeles Kings may or may not have won their first Stanley Cup title (and if not, it will happen within the next few days…)

This one's for you…

The Los Angeles Kings Fans.

For 45 years (and today marks 45 years to the day the Los Angeles Kings hockey team was born, at the 1967 NHL Expansion Draft) you have proudly worn your purple and gold (or silver and black), hoping to taste that sweet glory of victory.

For the past 45 years other Los Angeles teams have basked in championship glory: The Lakers, the Dodgers, the one-time Raiders (whom the current Kings color scheme borrows from), even the Galaxy, the Sparks and the freaking Los Angeles Xtreme have won titles for their respective sports (The Clippers might soon be the only ones assed-out in this department...).

And oh for shame, you have even stood on the sidelines when your regional rival, the Anaheim Ducks, won the Stanley Cup (We need not remember that...).

Speaking of the Lakers, your team has been the forgotten, ignored little brother, and have lived in its shadow for all of those 45 years. From the Sports Arena to the (Fabulous/Great Western) Forum and now to the Staples Center, it's always been Lakers this, Lakers that. Granted many of you are Lakers fans as well, but even when you cheer at a home game and look up at the rafters, you're constantly reminded that the Lakers have 16 Championship banners, and the Kings still have none (Never forget though, for it was the Kings who donned the Purple and Gold first!)

The Militant, being a hardcore Dodger, Laker and team of his unspecified local Pac-12 University fan, will say this once and for all, with no qualms whatsoever:

Los Angeles Kings fans are the most hardcore fans of any of our local teams.


Though The Militant is by no means a bandwagon fan (For the record, he has been going to Kings games since the (post-Gretzky) late '90s, and in fact even blogged about going to one miraculous comeback game against the Dallas Stars in '07, he doesn't deserve to be considered a hardcore Kings fan either.

(Maybe until just recently) people who wear Kings gear wear it with total pride. It's quite possible for someone who rocks a Kobe 24 jersey around town to not know how many Championship rings his shirt's namesake has won, or someone wearing a blue "LA" cap to know the difference between a Kershaw and a Koufax.

Championships are great, but they do (and this is true of every team) load up The Bandwagon…which is good, since that's how fan bases grow. There's nothing wrong with jumping on a bandwagon…it's the jumping off of it that makes you suck. The loyal fan never jumps off, and never plans to.

Another advantage over other local sports fans: Los Angeles Kings Fans are the best at using transit to their games.


The Militant started noticing it in the fall of 2001, just but a few months after the Red Line was completed to The Valley. He spotted one of his operatives, in full Kings gear, sitting on the train. And he wasn't alone. There were more than a handful of them on the train, headed to Staples. And this was just a regular season game. Lakers fans?  Maybe during the playoffs you might take transit, but most of you find a way to park Downtown. As for Clippers fans...are you even around during the regular season? The Dodger Stadium Shuttle might have had high ridership, but most of that is out of spite for The Team's Former Owner Whose Name Will No Longer Be Mentioned, rather than a genuine concern to reduce traffic and pollution. The Kings fans, it's like they didn't need to be told.

This is a team of destiny. A goaltender named "Quick." A defenceman named "Martinez," who, despite being of European Spanish heritage and hailing from Michigan, is as Latino and local as you can get in the NHL for the Los Angeles fan base. And for goodness sakes, there's a guy on the team named "King."

But most of all, though this squadron might boast a Kopitar Hero and a Brown that wears the captain's crown, there seems to be a noticeable deficit of egos and an abundance of strength, heart and chemistry. This is a team.

You Los Angeles Kings Fans are hardcore. You followed the actions of ancient prophets like Vachon, Dionne, Taylor, Robataille, Gretzky. But only until now are you being led to The Promised Land.

So what if no non-athletic goods stores in town carry Kings gear? So what if the New York-based NBC network refuses to air the Stanley Cup Finals home games in the Los Angeles market (If they did, knowing, the pea(sized)cock network, they would air the games on 3-hour tape delay)?

That's not gonna discourage you. Because you're hungry, hardcore and you're getting what you've pined for for the past 45 years:

Lord Stanley's Cup.

The Militant proudly and honorably raises his fist to the Los Angeles Kings Fans.

Go Kings Go...And fulfill your destiny.

The Militant's Suggestions On How To Prevent Post-Laker Championship Rioting

It's that time of the year, peoples. The Lakers may or may not have it in the fridge with the jello jiggling and alla dat, but some stupidass muddafuggas be knockin' that fridge over and setting it ablaze, thereby confirming the notions of East Coasters, Midwsterners and Northern Californians that Angelenos are some sort of inferior life form.

On Thursday, the LAPD plans to have the entire DTLA South Park area on lockdown, preventing people without tickets from entering the vicinity (But what if you were in the area for the big E3 Expo next door?).

Well, the Militant, who knows Los Angeles like no other, has a few fail-proof suggestions for y'all to avoid harm, destruction and further damage to our collective urban reputation. Mr. Mayor, City Council, Chief Beck, AEG and Jerry Buss -- the Militant Angeleno hereby asks you take heed of the following:

1. Get Kobe Bryant to go out after the game, address everyone outside and say, "Yo, if you''re gonna riot, there won't be no Laker parade." But he gots to be dressed up like this.

2. Hand out free vuvuzelas to everyone. Sure, there will be one loud, annoying, buzzing, B-flat drone emanating from Downtown Los Angeles for an hour and a half, but let's face it, no one's gonna be smashing windows, torching trash cans, overturning cars or stealing merchandise when they have a vuvuzela in their mouth.

3. Show Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" video up on those big-ass LA Live HD video screens. Just sayin'.

4. Stage one ginormous Michael Jackson "Thriller" flash mob right there at Figueroa and Chick Hearn Ct. Come on, it's Michael Jackson.

5. Send in the food trucks. All of them. Everyone loves food trucks. Okay, well, except these guys.

6. Send in the cast of "Glee" to do some cheesy song-and-dance routine to a popular cover song. That seems to make people happy for some reason, so inevitably it will curb one's spontaneous urge to engage in violent activity. Hard to believe? Don't stop believin'!

7. Project the movie "Sex and the City 2" on the Ritz-Carlton Building. If that don't work, nothing will.

8. Have Mayor Villaraigosa show up in front of the crowd so everyone will boo him. People will spend all their energy booing, no one's gonna riot. They're gonna be doing that during the Laker Victory Celebration anyway, so we might as well let everyone get it out of their system.

9. Blank out the entire 4th quarter of the game on TV and Radio, and make everyone believe the Celtics won the game. Then at 7 a.m., make a public announcement that goes, "Just kidding. The Lakers are NBA Champs!" Everyone will be able to watch the 4th Quarter on YouTube later on anyway.

10. Have everyone there mutually agree not to riot, but send Tweets/Facebook updates/text messages telling people as if they were. Their friends aren't gonna know the difference.

MA Pays His Respects To MJ

As mentioned yesterday, the Militant was one of some 21,000 people able to witness the huge Michael Jackson Memorial event on Tuesday at Staples Center.

After a quick Red Line ride to Downtown, he got off at 7th Street/Metro Center, met up with one of his operatives, and walked down Figueroa, past the slew of vendors and onlookers (but not as big of a slew as people anticipated). Once we crossed the demilitarized zone (i.e. Olympic Blvd) and produced our wristbands, we were in the clear.

But right after rounding the ESPN Zone corner and onto Chick Hearn Court, there it was, the big-ass media circus, set up in LA Live's courtyard, and farther west down CHC. It was a visually crazy scene, but as for the folks, it was no different than lining up for a concert here, even though it was 9:30 in the morning.

Inside, the sounds of Michael Jackson's mellower tunes echoed through the arena, which set a somber, respectful mood. After a 40-minute delay due to waiting for the Jackson family to arrive, as well as a minor audio problem, the program began.

The Militant never saw Staples Center so full, yet so silent. Even the expected conversations between thousands of guests were muted murmurs that didn't even sum into any audible roar. The Militant was impressed, and in awe.

The Militant needn't reiterate what happened. You all saw it, on TV, online, and repeated hundreds of times in clips afterward. We heard from a Queen and a pair of Kings. There was a congresswoman and a Mayer. There were Michael's Motown bretheren (as well as the label's patriarch), and of course his biological bretheren. Many of the speeches and eulogies quoted MJ's universally-familiar lyrics and song titles.

There was laughter, there were tears, there was music -- the way life should be.

And of course, there was that moment:

The musical performances were wonderful, especially hearing Jackson's own material, sung by his pop star peers. The only thing better would have been to hear The King of Pop sing them himself...

...And it was then the Militant realized that Michael Jackson was actually gone.

The crowd left quietly, in a relaxed manner. Many of them stuck around at the few LA Live establishments that remained open. Some went back to their offices nearby. A few were instantly hounded by the media circus to get their soundbite reaction. Some international media waved or draped their respective country's flags to identify themselves.

Up above, a skywriter attempted to draw a heart in the sky, with the letters "MJ" inside. And nearly a dozen helicopters hovered like mosquitoes in the cloudless blue Summer sky.

The Grammy Museum, which the Militant visited earlier this year, showed any and all previous Grammy Show footage with Michael Jackson in it. They are also featuring an exhibit of his Grammy show wardrobe, and have also reduced their adult admission to $10 until September 30.

Outsize the demilitarized zone, there was still a crush of people, reporters in front of cameras, pointing their logo-adorned microphones at soundbite donors, and there were people selling items, mostly cheaply-screened Michael Jackson t-shirts, on the sidewalk. A few sold framed portraits, one even sold an iconic glittered glove.

Of course, with the executors of his estate still yet to be finalized, none of this money will be going towards the singer's massive $400 million debt. The Militant also has very mixed feelings on people trying to profit off someone's death. Come on now (though, admittedly, a $10 glitter glove was rather tempting).

Here's some video of the memorabilia vendor circus along Figueroa Street:



In contrast, there was also a humble street musician who played a simplified rendition of the Jackson 5's "I'll Be There" on his guitar and harmonica:




Then of course was the question of Who Was Gonna Pay For All This. The Militant certainly hopes that enough tourist revenue will be spent in this City to make up for the cost in this Budget-Cutting era (And if you are a tourist from outside Los Angeles reading this, please look at the Militant's Michael Jackson Los Angeles map and visit some of these sites, and spend your tourist dollars generously!).

All in all, the Militant was proud to witness another page of Los Angeles HIStory.

More pics:

Fox 11's Jane Yamamoto interviews Memorial attendees.

Media Circus at LA Live.

The camera's eye and hearts in the sky.

Viva El Rey de Musica Popular!

They just can't stop loving him.

Michael Jackson Memorial - The Militant WILL Be There!

The Militant woke up this morning and got the email.

No not that email. He already got the one that read:

Thank you for your registration.


Sorry, we regret to inform you that your registration to attend the Public Memorial Service for Michael Jackson was not selected.


Hundreds of thousands registered, but only a few can be in attendance.

No, this was a different email. One from an operative, who asked if the Militant wanted to go to the big Michael Jackson Memorial on Tuesday at Staples Center. "Of course!" The Militant replied. The operative, though, could not retrieve the tickets between the 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. pickup time at Dodger Stadium. So the operative forwarded the voucher (pictured left) to the Militant, who printed it out, and he volunteered to retrieve them at The Stadium.

Knowing it may or may not be a traffic snafu there, the Militant rode on his bike and was able to get in and out in a flash (if you saw a bike riding though the Dodger Stadium parking lot - it may or may not be the Militant himself)!

After riding in the main Sunset Gate where is voucher was scanned, he followed the auto traffic to a spot at Dodger Stadium Lot 3 near the Golden State Gate, where he ran into a section of the lot divided into several lanes by traffic cones. The first person he met asked to see his voucher and put a golden wristband on his arm. Yes, he has to wear this thing for the next 19 hours and use it to gain entry into the cordoned-off area surrounding Staples Center. A second wristband was handed over to him.

He was ready to leave, assuming they were the "tickets," when he decided to take more pictures of the goings-on. A few newsvans and police officers in cruisers and bikes (really, did there need to be that many?)were also in the house. Then he noticed staff handing out paper tickets and he wanted to know what was up.

Duh. So the Militant rode his bike to the end of the lane, where they took his voucher printout, tore it up, discarded it in a recycling bin and handed him a pair of purple tickets for the event.

Score! (Seat location and barcode pixelated out to maintain the Militant's anonymity in top picture)

As a long queue of cars waited to exit the Golden State Gate, the Militant rode on through on his bike, unencumbered. So long, suckas!

Now, the Militant knows what you're all thinking. "What's the deal with MJ, MA? It's soooo mainstream. Have you sold out?"

The Militant admits Michael Jackson is as far from the Militant as one can get (well, actually, not quite). He's never been to a Michael Jackson concert, never had a glitter glove, never had Michael Jackson posters in his room, never owned a red zipper jacket.

But the Militant, in his 30somethingness, can't deny MJ played a large role in his '80s music memories. He does own three unspecified Michael Jackson albums, two of them are on vinyl LP (You can pretty much take a wild guess at what one of them is). And the day the "Thriller" video came out, it was nonetheless a cultural event the day the Militant's dad came home from The Wherehouse and popped the tape into the old Betamax (The Militant certainly hopes no pictures of a 12 year-old Militant in a red zipper jacket ever surface).

But in the interest of Militancy, the Militant sees it this way: On Tuesday, July 7, 2009, the entire world's eyes will be focused on Los Angeles. At least for a few hours (again). we can lay claim to being the center of the world. In an age where collective consciousness is splintered into various niches, thanks to the Internet and specialized media, it's a rare sight to see such a major cultural event take place, the Militant will be there to witness it, and it's right here in our backyards.

The Militant will, of course, either be riding his bike or riding the (M)etro there. If you're going to the memorial at Staples Center Tuesday and don't, not only will you suck, but you're gonna make millions of other people's lives suck as well. The Militant can never suck!

The Militant will be Twittering (depending on signal quality) from Staples Center! Follow him at http://twitter.com/militantangleno!

Your Fear Of Celebration?

The Militant feels compelled to make this one extra post tonight because he's been hearing this from a lot of folks:

"I'm gonna pass on the Laker parade tomorrow. Don't want to deal with the knuckleheads."

"I'm just gonna watch in the safety of my own home. Too many knuckleheads tomorrow."

"The Coliseum!? That's the worst part of town. F--- that! Stupid idea to have the celebration there. I never go to that side of town!"

What you have here folks, is the "F" word: FEAR.

Look, the Militant distinctly remembers going to Staples Center after the Lakers won the 2000 NBA Finals, and got out of there quick because of what went down (which apparently was much worse than what we saw on Sunday, but thanks to people's short-term memories, no one knows that). More people were arrested and more vehicles were destroyed on June 19, 2000 than on June 14, 2009.

That also didn't stop the Militant from attending the Laker parade a few days later, which went off without a hitch, and save for a handful of arrests, it was a peaceful and jubilant celebration for a team that brought back the Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy to Los Angeles after 12 long years.

For those of you who didn't understand what the Militant said in the past two paragraphs, the Militant will break it down in terms that you can comprehend:

2009 Laker Riot: BAD!
2000 Laker Riot: MORE BAD!
2000 Laker Parade: NO RIOT! STILL GOOD!

The Militant hopes you have the mental capacity to digest such complex axioms.

If you're not going to the Laker Parade tomorrow because you can't take the day off, no problem! But for those of you who are afraid of "the knuckleheads," then you're part of the problem! Basically you're letting them take over the event, much like people's attitudes towards neighborhoods, parks, and urban nightlife. If you truly are a Laker Fan, then don't let these punks take over YOUR event. This is YOUR event! Don't let them represent YOUR team! Take ownership, have no fear (As a certain Jedi Master once verbalized, "Fear is the path to the Dark Side...") and STAY MILITANT!

The Militant WILL be at the Laker celebration tomorrow at the Coliseum! (Remember to get there Militant Style: Ride your bikes or take the Metro Bus, folks!)

The Militant will leave you with this awesome Laker, the hero of Game 4, known for his class as well as his clutch, speaking from his purple and gold heart:

Episode I: The Fandom Menace - The Militant's Thoughts On The Post-Championship Melee

On Sunday night, hundreds of rowdy Laker fans took to the streets, and wreaked havoc on vehicles and property near the Staples Center.

And oh yeah, the Lakers won the championship.

Meanwhile, lots of smug transplants walk around town with huge smiles on their faces, going, "I told ya so!" and texting their friends and family back home how retarded Los Angelenos really are (yet they still won't leave because they like the weather).

Okay, historical perspective folks.

The Militant was there in 1992 and saw the You-Know-What happen in front of his eyes. More recently, nine years ago, the Militant wanted to celebrate, in the most sincere and joyous way, the Lakers' defeat of the Indiana Pacers, and took the (M) Red Line to Downtown and walked to the Staples Center.

There, he saw some Laker fans honk their horns, screaming with joy. But then he was ready to join one crowd, and then heard police fire rubber bullets.

The Militant fears very little in this world, but nevertheless, he got his ass out of there ASAP.

Naturally, the Militant will point out that these sorts of sports riots happen in other cities as well; In Chicago, back in 1992, over 1,000 were arrested in riots that erupted after the Michael Jordan-era Bulls won their championship (Hmm, Phil Jackson coached that team too...maybe the Zen Master is to blame? lol...) And in 2003, for one sports team up north that some of us used to know, the fact that they didn't win the championship one year didn't stop them from going crazy destructo nucking futs in the streets.

People like to pole fun, or point shameful fingers at this City and its citizens for riotous behavior, but no one wants to talk about WHY these things happen.

Case in point: The Lakers won the NBA Championship in 1980, 1982, 1985, 1987 and 1988.

Nobody caused a riot back then.

So what is it about contemporary society that drives people to act like assholes and burn shit (the Militant normally refrains from excessive swearing, but when he's this pissed, he's wired the censor button shut)?

The Militant has three possible explanations:

1. The Media. People do stupid shit in front of cameras. Ever see a high-speed chase on TV? Don't say you don't watch those things, because you know you do. Well, drivers in those chases know the chopper following is shining the spotlight on them - in more than one way. The Militant remembered watching TV one afternoon in 1998 when a man drove his car onto the northbound 105-110 interchange, parked his car, unfurled a blanket that read, "HMOs Are Only In It For The Money" and, as TV live cameras were watching, he pulled out a gun and shot himself dead.

There is a gross disparity of the "haves" (who have a lot) and the "have nots" (who inversely have very little). For many of the "have nots," the apparent privilege of the "haves" is justified by their celebrity status. So by being in front of a camera, whether they make money from it or not, creates an instant ego trip.

The Militant blames the media on Sunday night for expecting the melee and egging on the rioteers by their presence. The helicopters and news vans were there. So the "knuckleheads" wanted to do some "Showtime" of their own. There were even news vans deployed to East Los Angeles and the Crenshaw district. Gee, wonder why? (Eventually they reported very little).

Most of the "action" in Downtown died out by 1 a..m.; the cameras had already left. Coincidence?

2. Some Real Fucked up People Out There. No, not necessarily talking about their alcohol- or drug- induced states, but the fact that a lot of the rioteers have pretty fucked up lives to begin with. The Militant doesn't justify their behavior by any means, and doesn't want you to feel sorry for them, but let's face it, a lot of them never really experienced any genuine joy in their lives. Whether it's through poverty, faulty education, or abusive upbringing, when they do feel the joy and elation brought on by a Laker championship, they're gonna celebrate the only way they know how - by destroying shit.

Point is, there's some real social problems that we need to work on as a society, and the Laker riots are an obvious symptom of that.

3. Midwestern Mentality. Los Angeles, was once part of Mexico, a country known for tis fiestas and public celebrations. So much so, that a plaza was built in what was then the middle of town for such festivities. In the next century, the influx of white rural Midwesterners transformed the old Mexican village into a re-creation of the farmlands they knew, spreading its people out (yes, Midwesterners are to blame for our sprawl), and changing forever the way the city conducted itself with regard to public space, gatherings and social conduct. In the Mexican-era Los Angeles, gringo and Indio walked side by side. In the early 1900s Indiana-By-The-Sea, Midwesterners only socialized among their own kind and shunned others out. Even before the automobile isolated people from human interaction, the wide-open spaces created by our agricultural landscape created divisions among people. From then on, people are to be feared, and not interacted with.

Flash-forward to a century later. With the influence of Pacific Rim cultures, along with those of other parts of the world, we are supposed to be a global, cosmopolitan urban center, but the Midwestern Mentality still sticks around.

So what's the Militant's point?

The Midwestern Mentality frowns on public gatherings, especially spontaneous ones. It closes our parks and beaches at 10 p.m., it makes people want to instinctively dial 9-1-1 when over a dozen people are gathered somewhere.

Many people correctly state that Sunday night's melee is "The wrong way to celebrate." Sure, but what is the right way then? Other cities have sports victory traditions where they gather around a certain public space, and possibly engage in traditional celebratory rituals. Our public space (L.A. Live, right? Wait, "public?" It's privately-owned!) is still too new. So why can't people organize spontaneous victory celebrations "the right way?"

Unfortunately, any sort of spontaneous victory celebration is either "bad," or "potentially bad."
So let's be creative, claim public space and teach each other through tradition "the right way" to celebrate, from now on.

Failing that, let's just give an ultimatum to any future would-be rioters: You riot, you loot, and there will be no victory parade for anybody.

There's another professional athletic team in town that happens to have the best record in its sport at the moment. They may or may not bring home a championship of their own come October. So let's start to get our act together right now or else we'll never learn from experience.

Fantasy On Figueroa: A Night With The Comeback Kings

The Militant's fanaticism for the Dodgers is well-documented, he digs the Lakers of course, and is a loyal fan of the football team of the unspecified local Pac-10 university of which he is an alumnus of. But the Militant also roots for the Kings.

On Friday, an operative sent the Militant a text message saying that he got free tickets to Saturday's Kings game against the Dallas Stars, and the Militant, in search of a post-Dodger season sports high to get into, told the operative he was down. So the Militant carpooled with him and two other operatives to Staples Center, and continuing the "free" theme of the night, scored a curbside parking space and walked two blocks to the downtown arena.

Forgive the Militant, for it has been eight years since his last Kings game - an exhibition game against the Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks of Anaheim during Staples' inaugural season (which he also got free tickets for). The Kings won 1-0 in that one, which was an interesting first hockey experience for the proto-Militant back then, as he was puzzled when everyone started to leave the game after the "Third Quarter."

On Saturday night, the Militant and his operatives sat in the nosebleed seats oriented towards center rink, which wasn't that bad of a view. Still being relatively new to the hockey world, it was a different experience for the baseball-oriented Militant, who recognized the olfactory familiarity of Farmer John hot dogs wafting throughout the venue, yet felt the uniquely unfamiliar sensation of cold air emanating from the rink below. Equally unfamiliar was the hockey vocabulary or penalty boxes and power plays, not to mention players whose names were not "Gretzky" or "Robataille." The sight of the swift, bee-swarm movements of the players and the auditory slapping of sticks and slamming of bodies on plexiglas rounded out the sensory experience.

It also didn't help that for the first two quarte...er...periods, and much of the third, the Kings were scoreless, trailing the Stars and their seemingly impenetrable goalie, Marty Turco, by four points. The Kings made lame, incompetent shot attempts to the chagrin of the impatient home crowd. The Militant's operative asked him at the end of the 2nd period, "Dude, you wanna leave now?"

But win or lose (or shutout, even) the Militant wanted to stay, just for the experience. Besides, he never leaves a Dodger game early, so why be any different for any other local team?

What happened next was unbelievable.

With 7:14 left in the 3rd period, left wing Dustin Brown scored the Kings' first goal, and the Staples crowd went nuts, with the sound of a loud diesel locomotive horn and snippets of Randy Newman's "I Love L.A.," Zombie Nation's sports anthem "Kernkraft 400" and Gary Glitter's uber-sports anthem, "Rock & Roll, Part 2" heralding the scoring play throughout the arena. The Militant and his operatives jokingly cheered for four more goals to win the game.

Then came the second goal.

And the third.

And the fourth.

And the fifth. All five were scored within a span of five minutes and seven seconds. To say that the Kings were on a roll was the understatement of the night.

The Stars came back to tie the game at five apiece, but the Kings relied on sudden death overtime to settle the score. Then center Anze Kopitar made the winning goal (his second of the game) 2:34 into OT.

The crowd of some 18,000 fans erupted into a deafening roar and didn't want to leave. There was already talk of this being the most amazing Kings comeback victory since 1982's Miracle on Manchester. The Militant dubs this one the "Fantasy On Figueroa," or the Kings' equivalent of the 2006 Dodgers' "9/18" game (aka the back to back to back to back home run victory against the Padres). The streets of Downtown's South Park (and spilling into the Financial District via subway -bound fans) were alive with hollering crowds and cars honking horns, as if the Kings won the Stanley Cup or something. Imagine an already-completed LA Live abuzz with this electricity.

The Militant got to see a great hockey game and an even greater comeback victory, all for the price of free. The Militant will be sure to pay for his ticket for the next game, hopefully someday soon. Go Kings Go!

Highlights of the game right here:

That New Theatre Smell

Last Saturday, the Militant had a chance to step right up to the new-fangled event venue, the Nokia Theatre (Is it pronounced, "Noh-kya" or "No-KEE-uh?" and on that note, is "Theatre" pronounced "Thee-ATE-her" or "Thee-tur?"). It's a stunningly beautiful building, which blends in well architecturally with its next door neighbor, STAPLES Center (also an AEG creation).

It's a truly unique venue, with stunning visual aesthetics, but is it really that unique? Turns out there are other Nokia Theatres out there, including one in that other major US city, so this one is specifically called, "Nokia Theatre at L.A. Live." But it's the largest one in size and capacity (7,100), larger than the Dallas (6,300) and NYC (2,100) versions. Speaking of naming rights, if certain artists ban camera phones at their concerts, what if the concertgoer has a Nokia model?

The sheer size and expanse of the theatre as well as the abuilding L.A. Live complex seemingly turned Chick Hearn Court from The Street Formerly Known As 11th to a true court, which tempts one to jaywalk between Staples and Nokia, though a row of "Use Crosswalk" signs on either side of the Court discourage shortcutting and forces people to head all the way over to Figueroa. The only downside to the new configuration is that in the event of another Lakers championship, where would the large victory celebration take place? Of course, with the way the team is going right now, that probably won't be an issue for a long time.

Though the Militant has yet to go inside, one of the Militant's siblings got to check it out on Day Two of Nokia's debut season, watching the Video Games Live concert on October 19. When the sibling was asked on their impressions of Nokia, the sibling simply shrugged and said, "It was cool."

But by far the biggest visual impact of Nokia is the building's chameleonic ability to change into all them pretty colors. The visual landmark of Nokia's plaza is the set of six pylons that emanate sound and vision into the immediate area. But wait a minute here...a vertical structure...changing colors...bright visuals...an audio system that projects sound towards all directions...hmmm...now where exactly has the Militant seen something like that before?