Monday, October 8, 2007

Find One Hundred Ways

Wow, lookie here. The Militant turns 100. Posts, that is! Yes, this here is the Militant's hundredth post. Of course, his rival guerrilla factions have chided him for celebrating his milestones, but hey, a Militant's gotta do what a Militant's gotta do. So, in true Hollywood fashion (the industry, not the community), the rest of this post will be comprised of clips showing the best moments from the Militant's past 100 posts...

[Reader 1: Oh, a clip show. This is gonna suck.]

[Reader 2: Majorly.]

Hey, who said that?

[Reader 1: I did, Commando Boy.]

[Reader 2: LOL!]

Who are you?

[Reader 1: I'm Reader 1, your worst critic.]

[Reader 2: And I'm Reader 2, I'm just doing this just to antagonize you.]

How'd you get in here?

[Reader 1: may or may not want to know.]

[Reader 2: ROTFL! "May or may not!"]

What are you guys doing in my blog?

[Reader 1: AHA! He's broke his third-person character! He said "My!"]

[Reader 2: High Five!]

Okayokayokay, what do you want from the Militant?

[Reader 1: Reveal yourself, to the public.]

[Reader 2: Yeah!]

Hell no! The Militant's not going to do that...right now.

[Reader 1: So you will reveal yourself one day?]

He may or may not.

[Reader 1 and Reader 2: ROTFL!]

Okay, aside from that, what do you want from the Militant?

[Reader 1: Okay, you think you know everything about LA, right?]

Los Angeles.

[Reader 1: Yeah, whatever, Commando Boy. How many tunnels are there on the northbound 110?]

Uhh...three. Four. Five. There are five tunnels.

[Reader 1: EHHHHHH! Wrong, Commando Boy! There's FOUR!]

[Reader 2: You suck!]

Alright, okay, so you stumped the Militant. Now go get your own damn city blog.

[Reader 1 and Reader 2: WE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE ONE ALREADY!!!]

Okay, it's time for you guys to go.

[Reader 1: Hahaha. Make me!]

[Reader 2: Yeah, make me!]

Hmm...Reader 2, you don't ever seem to have anything original to say. Are you just Reader 1's lackey?

[Reader 2:]

[Reader 1: Yes you are.]

[Reader 2: No I'm not!]

[Reader 1: Remember when I told you to take a leak in the Militant's shaved ice dessert when he wasn't looking?]


[Reader 2: Hey, that was my idea, ass-wad!]

[Reader 1: Who you calling ass-wad?]

[Reader 2: You are! And you haven't paid me in over a month! And the last check bounced!]

[Reader 1: B-b-but...]

[Reader 2: YOU suck. I wanted to be "Reader 1" but noooo...]

ROTFL! I love this. Okay suckas, time to say goodnight. Hey, what's this tab here? "Edit Html"


Ahhhh, there we go. The Militant loves control...and you didn't see nothin'.

Change is Gonna Come

Okay, now that most of the Militant's 100th post has been wasted already, let's cut to the chase. Today, the Militant will take this opportunity to announce a couple new additions to this here blog, as he makes his way towards world domin...uh...heheh. The Militant means, as his blog evolves.

1. Ask The Militant!

Ever since the Militant got his first comment back in June, it felt like little Christmas presents under the tree. But beyond that petty selfish psychological need, he would like to do a greater service to all of Los Angelesdom. Or...blogdom. You know that the Militant is talking about. So in the tradition of Ask-A-Ninja (who isn't quite anonymous anymore), Strong Bad's E-Mail and to make a rather cheap attempt to capitalize on the absence of the Los Angeles City Nerd, the Militant will welcome any city-related questions from all you readers* out there in the interest of informing and/or entertaining (which probably means if the Militant cannot answer it, he'll at least make the response somewhat entertaining).

To ask the Militant a question, simply email the Militant at militantangeleno at gmail dot com (suck it, spambots!) with the Subject line: "Ask The Militant."

2. Coming Soon: Militant Angeleno's Mess Hall!

Yes, folks, it's a spin-off. Soon, the Militant will launch Militant Angeleno's Mess Hall, a food blog unlike any other. Okay, it's just a food blog - but from a decidedly Militant point of view. Read the first post to get an idea of what the food blog will cover. Of course, the Militant has his hands full with his various Militant activities, so this blog will be open to contributors with a login. So far, fellow guerrilla factions The Hollywood Jedi and Miles of Miles Think have signed on as contributors. Email the Militant if you would like to contribute, along with a short paragraph or two explaining to the Militant why you deserve to be a contributor to the Mess Hall (Of course, if you're already a frequent reader*/commenter, you already get first dibs...).

*Except you, Reader 1 and Reader 2.


Julia said...

Congrats on the 100! I love the "clip show" joke, thank you for that. I wish you all the best with posts 101 and on along with the Mess Hall. I'll be checking in!

295bus said...

Hey, congrats!

I don't live in the Los Angeles area, btw, so I guess that makes you a nationally known celebrity or something.

Stay strong, keep riding, and stay militant!

Militant Angeleno said...

295bus: Haha, the Militant sees you're from the Bay Area. So the Militant is more likely a California phenomenon than something national. His militancy might not make much sense to people east of the Colorado River. But that's okay.

philpalm said...

Well food topics is less controversial than political issues...

Congratulations for your 100th post. Maybe it will look good on your resume...or maybe not.

Maybe you might review your true identity by post 200?

Militant Angeleno said...

Philpalm: Food topics less controversial? Or so you might think!

Actually the Militant already revealed his identity in post #63. Weren't you reading?


MetroHopper said...

Congrats on the 100.
But really: that has got to be the most white-arsed hand LOGO I have ever seen, and trust me: I made it through thirteen years of Montgomery, AL, along Wares Ferry Road.

LA City Nerd said...

Don't miss me too much.