On 9/9/09, The Militant's Nod To The 99

Today, the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year of this century, the Militant would like to do a paean to, what else, the 99 Cents Only Stores!

Now, many have derided this noble institution, oft ridiculed by Jay Leno as selling substandard and poorly-labeled products (but karma can be a beyotch, though). Others only go there to buy their beachballs for the Dodger game. And many more have uttered the most-used adjective synonymous with the 99 Cents Only Store: "ghetto."

But there's nothing "ghetto" about a company that raked in $1.2 billion last year and operates a very high-tech inventory stocking and tracking system. Most of all, The 99 is a Los Angeles original, which opened its first store on 6854 La Tijera in Westchester in 1982 and now operates 271 stores across California, Texas, Arizona and Nevada (its corporate HQ is in the City of Commerce).

The Militant takes to The 99 because, well, it's convenient, and yes, cheap. Why spend 3 bucks for toilet paper when you can get it for $0.99 (okay, 99.99 cents now...)? It's all gonna wind up in the same place anyway!

Okay, granted, there are some items you wouldn't want to be caught buying at The 99. The Militant understands. But there are some items The 99 excels at. Like snack foods, stationery, tools, electronic accessories (Phone charger for 99 cents? Score!) batteries and most of the time, produce (Don't knock the 99.99-cent strawberries! They can be good!)

The commonly-held belief that The 99 sells expired and spoiled goods isn't true. The produce the Militant has bought at the 99 was surprisingly good, and no worse off that what he'd find at Vons. The company interestingly capitalizes on the crass excess and consumerism of this country, and re-sells poorly-marketed products at a more worthy price.

Sometimes there's just too much of an item and and it has to clear out. And sometimes those items are pure gold, literally. Like who knew they printed gazillions of copies of the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics Official Souvenir Program? The Militant got his for $16 back in the day (which is now torn and creased beyond recognition) but found a mint-condition copy, nay, a whole stack of mint condition copies -- for 99(.99) cents!

The Militant, who has friends and relatives in the burbs, nearly all of them mass-endowed, wonders about their utter fascination with Costco. Maybe the Militant might be fascinated by that store, except there ain't any where he lives. The 99 is the inner city's Costco. It's also more transit/bike/pedestrian friendly since the stores aren't just on popular corridors, but you don't have to lug bulk-sized portions home in an SUV. And best of all, there's more brand diversity -- all your merchandise isn't made by "Kirkland."

The company's current slogan is, "The Right Store...Now More Than Ever!" - an obvious reference to the recession. And rightfully so. Can you imagine a world without a 99 Cents Only Store, and all the overpriced crap we'd have to pay for in this economy?

So on this day, 9/9/2009, the Militant toasts his glass of wine Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Raspberry Cider (at 99.99 cents per bottle), to the venerable, the vital and the homegrown 99 Cents Only Store. Salud!

The Militant to Target: YOU SUCK!

Anyone here shop at Target Stores? Hey, the Militant seems to like that store...up until now. Low prices, stuff is easy to find, relatively good selection, and even that cute TV commercial with the two college freshman dormmate girls dancing around to some catchy dancehall tune, why not? And though the proliferation of Target stores in Southern California has gone seemingly out of control, and contributing to the generic chain store homogenization of the area, well at least using less gas (or no gas at all) in traveling to a conveniently-close Target store must make sense.

On Saturday night, the Militant went to the Target "Greatland" store in Burbank to make about $300 in unspecified purchases. When he asked one of the electronics department dudes to open up the case so he can get a relatively pricey item, the electronics dude asked him, "Would you like to save 10% on your purchase?"

"Um, okay...how?" asked the Miltant.

"All you have to do is sign up for a Target Card," he said.

"Um, no thanks," replied the Militant, not at all interested in adding any sort of line of credit. With the way the financial situation is going in this country, having your money float around in credit isn't such a smart move. And besides, the Militant hates using credit cards, except for emergency situations. Instead, he prefers to make purchases using his bank's ATM/Check Card, which doesn't involve bills or interest rates - it just deducts it from the existing money he has in his checking account (BTW, if any of you people use your bank's ATM'/Check Cards, ALWAYS select "Credit" rather than "ATM" or "Debit." That way the purchase will not incur any ATM or point of purchase fees). The Militant avoids credit like the plague, instead opting to save money up to a certain amount before he makes the actual purchase (gee, what a concept...).

The electrnics dude just set the item in the cash register clerk's conveyor belt, and the Militant, without having to give the electronics dude an answer, soon dealt with the clerk.

She asked him if he would like to sign up for the Target card.

"No thanks, I don't need any other credit card," the Militant firmly replied, as he swiped his ATM/Check Card in the card swiper terminal. The little screen gave him the PIN number prompt, and at that point he selected the "CREDIT" button. He then used the little plastic stylus to write his signature (more like a horribly-pixelated scribble) on the touchscreen, which almost always never resembles his actual pen-written signature.

Then it happened.

The clerk's computer terminal said, "CARD NOT AUTHORIZED. ENTER LAST 4 DIGITS." So she manually entered the last four numbers of the Militant's trusty ATM/Check Card.

"CARD NOT AUTHORIZED."

WTF? Now wait a minute, he didn't have a problem using the card in the past few days. In fact, he just made an ATM withdrawal the previous day. And he didn't make any online purchases registered to another country, as what happened the last time his bank put a protective hold on his card's activity.

The Militant then re-swiped his card, selected "CREDIT," attempted to scribble his horribly-pixellated signature, and then the "LAST 4 DIGITS" prompt came back.

"Would you like to sign up for the Target Card? You can complete your purchase and save 10%. You can just pay it off."

The Militant again politely declined.

"You're pre-approved..."

Oh not not the "pre-approved" bullshiat again. Pre-approved the Militant's ass. How do they even know what his name is? The ATM/Check Card was "declined," after all.

The Militant just decided to cancel the entire order and walked out of that store, empty handed (yes, he did remember to get his card back).

On Sunday, the Militant went to a different store and purchased the same higher-priced electronic item there. No credit card BS, the card was accepted as normal.

The nerve.

Look, as a consumer you are supposed to have the right to not only choose what you want to buy, but how you want to pay for it. You can use your ATM card, a debit card, an ATM/check card, a store card, a credit card, a gift card or something called cash, which is actual, tangible money.

Rigging the cash register terminal to refuse other forms of payment is downright fraudulent (it could have been worse, the Militant could have actually been charged for those items (twice!). They've even gone so low as to decline gift cards! After swiping them more than once, but a quick check to his bank's online service revealed that no purchase had been made after all...phew!). Target clearly does not care about customer choice, and fools their customers to believe there is a problem with their credit/debit cards, and forces their customers to sign up for some lame store card, and even worse, more credit/interest fees to worry about.

Oh yes, the Militant is fully aware that the store forces its sales staff to push these card signups to customers. And it seems like they're really hurting for more card signups. But again, you have a right as a consumer to accept or decline it.

The Militant will not shop at Target anymore, which is too bad, since he likes what they have. But doing stupid-ass tricks to get you to sign up for something you don't really want is a major turn-off. The Militant urges his readers to NOT shop there anymore, and if you must, then ONLY pay in cash. Target sucks!